


heartbeat in your hands

by Riana1



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Daddy Issues, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-20
Updated: 2013-08-20
Packaged: 2017-12-24 01:52:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/933759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riana1/pseuds/Riana1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because there is no other choice, Charles Hansen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	heartbeat in your hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Enchantable](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enchantable/gifts).
  * Translation into 中文 available: [掌心里的心跳](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1463881) by [yuki812](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuki812/pseuds/yuki812)



> because of this http://riana-one.tumblr.com/post/58739283161/camdenlaheys-marchingjaybird-poor-broken
> 
> and all the chuck feels, all the herc feels, and basically me sobbing out my heart by the end of the movie.

Charles, in this world you understand your father.

In this world, you do not sleep for three days straight, counting every breath, tallying every burble and gurgle as they were holy writ (you were never a Sunday school boy, never cared for the shalls and shall nots, but this, this is named a miracle and you /understand/ as deep as the Drift and wide as the width of your world in a cradle.)

She is only five pounds soaking wet but can break you with a shrill rise of her voice (that is how you know she is a Hansen your old man tells you idly and you turn teary eyed to your father and hug him without a trace of shame and then he puts you to bed- you have been up 72 straight and it shows).

In some worlds, your daughter is born to Mako Mori and you die a hero worthy of Valhalla. What regret can you bring insuring the survival of all you hold dear? In another worlds, your daughter is born to a one night stand, your high school sweetheart, a Jaeger groupie, or a former idol singer. And do know what, Chuck Hansen?

You make the same choice. Again. And again. And again.

Because there is no other choice, Charles Hansen.

In every world she draws breath, you charge into the breech, boldly rode and well, for what glory awaits you shattered and sundered, but a world for your little girl to grow up in unafraid.

Sometimes you live and you take her diving off the Great Barrier Reef for her graduation gift.

Sometimes you survive and she will remember you as her daddy and not a picture and a medal in a frame.

Sometimes you die, Chuck.

Sometimes you die and your little girl grows up hearing your name in her history class and loves you and hates you and misses you and resents you, but you understand, Charles Hansen.

Because in all these worlds, you will stand in the wee hours in the night counting her exhalations as preachers count hallelujahs on high.

Because you are your father’s son, Charles.

Because you are your mother’s son, Chuck.

Because in all worlds, all potential, possible worlds, there numbers not a one where your father chooses your mother over you.

Because there is no other choice, Charles Hansen when you hold your heartbeat in your hand and she looks up at you and smiles.


End file.
